chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just forgot I was standing up.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
