dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
