Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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