I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
