Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
