I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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