hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
