Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
birth control should be required to get into college
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize