dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Houston, we have a blender
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
