made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have already put on my inside pants.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize