I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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