Why are handjobs necessary in class?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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