ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
