were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
