3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
