All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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