She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
