Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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