You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
