we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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