I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
