so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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