you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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