I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
