the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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