I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
