If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
