you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
