I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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