I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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