I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
