So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
