there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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