So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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