We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
