Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
