I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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