The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
