Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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