pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
