i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
