You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
