windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
