I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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