Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
