I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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