Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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