I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
