You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
