I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You can't motorboat a personality
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We smell like vodka and hangover
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