Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
