its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
