I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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