Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
