we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize