I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
