pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
