drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
