She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize