She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
