ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
