Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
