This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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