Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
