No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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