Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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